Oh Atlanta

If you live in Georgia and you’re either family or friends of mine, you’re probably wondering why I haven’t called or anything yet. Well I am here now and I’m safe, but really I might as well not be here yet. My goal for this week is strictly work. They didn’t have room for us in military housing so this week I need to find our new place, get an appointment with my primary doctor, get a referral to an obgyn, and then figure out who will be Austin’s surgeon. Also the only phone I have right now is my sisters and I hate asking for it. Besides I have no car at all and either does my sister for the most part, so I couldn’t come see anyone anyway. After I get all this stuff done, I’m going up to New York until Chris comes out.

Once he’s here we’ll have a place to stay, we’ll be able to rent a car, and we’ll be more capable of seeing everyone! I think he’ll be here October 22nd. It all depends on his orders though.

I took the MARTA to the base the other day and signed up for Tricare South, ACS, and went to check on the housing list. I’ll tell you one thing GEORGIA IS HOT!!! I was sweating like crazy walking around that base! I brought mostly winter/ fall things, because in Belgium it’s getting cold. I forgot that it doesn’t get cold till way later out here! Also I was SO excited to get away from GA allergies and now I’m dying once again! Seriously, I wish I could rip my face off! My throat is itchy, my nose is running, I sneeze constantly, my teeth feel extra weak. I just feel so BLAH!

Also Lily and I are still having a hard time with jetlag (sp?). We’ve managed to get it so we wake up around 8am and go to bed around 9 or 10. But I WISH we could go to bed at like 5. I feel tired all day and so does Lily. This is a really hard adjustment.

I found two townhouses for rent that I’m going to look at this week. I hope they’re nice and SAFE! One’s in Avondale Estates… less than a mile from the Marta, and one’s in Stone mountain (but in a Decatur area code) right on memorial Dr. It’s about 12 minutes for the Marta. The one in Stone Mountain is a little cheaper rent. I REALLY hate this pay cut we’re taking by moving here. We’re going to lose our COLA and our free housing… EVERYTHING! I really hate it! But Austin is so worth it… plus we’re still a young married couple. We should be struggling more than we do. It’s a part of marriage!

Anyway friends and family in Georgia… I’ll come see you guys in October! We’ll be LIVING here so there’s no big rush and I HAVE to get some things done!

i'm gonna cry!

Goodbye Belgium.
I hope that we meet again one day!

we have been blessed

The army has blessed us in SO many ways it's unbelievable! They were there for us when we were newly weds, with a baby, and Chris had just lost his job due to a car accident.
They gave us a job, a home, pay, health insurance, and a chance to live beyond our expectations!

Then they sent us to Belgium where we got to travel Europe, met some of the best people out there, and gave us the chance of a lifetime! I think if we weren't stationed out here then Austin's heart problem would have not been seen and he would have died after being born.
Because they never caught it during all the ultrasounds they gave me at the normal appointments! It was the 3D ultrasound that found the problem and they don't just give those in the states. There's a tube in his heart that's keeping him alive right now and when he's born that tube goes away naturally and he wouldn't have made it, but since they know about it now they can give him a prescription to keep the tube there!

Then the army decided that we need better doctors and that Chris needed to be there to support me so now the army is paying for us to move close to our families and a great Children's hospital so we can feel comfortable bringing Austin into this world! It's a compassionate reassignment! What other companies have something as awesome as that!? The army really does care! They are going to pay for his birth, all his open heart surgeries, and EVERYTHING else that comes along! They are going to give Chris all the time he needs off to be my support, and they are just wonderful! The fact that they let us CHOOSE this new duty station makes me so thankful!

OF COURSE we are planning to retire from the army, and I know that the army can be the greatest thing is the world and then other times it can be the worst thing. They can screw with you a bit, but SO WHAT? It's a job... they don't have to cater to your every need! I can't wait to get back to Atlanta!!

well

I've been looking at apartments, houses, townhouses, etc. And I think we're just going to live on base. It's so much easier and stress free... and TRUST ME I need SOMETHING right now that is stress free!! I know we will lose our BAH, but Chris will not have to commute to work everyday so hopefully things will workout!!

Plus I LOVE wasting electricity, running the water, and not having to worry about paying anything!

We're going to look at it first, but I've been stressing myself out too much and right now I am done.

Besides we have WAY too much furniture to live in an apartment.

So HOPEFULLY we can get into on post housing!

(These are the E-1 to E-7 housing)

We got our Orders!!

And our new home for the next few years will be:

FT. MCPHERSON, GA!!!
They are trying to get me there this week.
Chris has to report there Nov. 10th.
I'm now SO excited!
It's a base IN Atlanta... they're closing it, so we thought we couldn't get stationed there...

We were wrong!

Happy Birthday to me :)

Birthday in Belgium

It's my birthday!!!!!

and it will be my birthday in like 6 hrs. in the states!

And I've just entered my 30 weeks!
Only 10 more weeks to go!


Hopefully this week we'll get our orders to the states
or atleast hopefully they'll tell us where we're going!
I'm about 90% sure we're going to GA...
but you never know... after all it is the army!

I've had a CRAZY first 20 years.
And I'm ready to start my next!

...okay good night haha.

I took a nap

And i guess I feel better. I just feel like things re happening too fast. I have to make so many choices without having much time to think it over. And things are just adding up by the second. I don't know if we'll end up at Ft. Gordon, but hopefully everything will turn out for the best.

why can't they hear me?

I don't think I've been this stressed out in my entire life! I almost feel numb. I just want to fall asleep. The army wants us to go somewhere like Ft. Gordon... FT. GORDON??? How will that at all be beneficial to Austin. This is a compassionate reassignment... it's FOR AUSTIN. If they send us there, they might as well keep us here! I love it here and the ONLY reason I'd go to the states is for him... but if they send us there it's pointless! It really bothers me that they are trying to help us out but not actually doing what needs to be done. They said both Philly and Boston are out of the question. Not close enough to a base. But i mean does he really HAVE to be on base? The top three hospitals are Philly, Boston, and Atlanta. So we are trying for Atlanta... NOT Augusta! I'm just really about to blow! I mean seriously my baby's life is at risk. I know it's not commands baby so they don't understand, but it's MY BABY! His life is depending on us to make good choices! Sending us to an army installation where we'll most likely be forced to use their on base hospitals is outrageous! If it were just a normal pregnancy then whatever, send me wherever! But that isn't the case. This is bigger than them. I need the best healthcare. I want to be CLOSE to the hospital. A CHILDREN'S Hospital! I wish they could understand... I wish I didn't feel like a complete wreck.

moving to the states?

Well we signed up for EFMP (exceptional family member program) today. I met with the doctor on base and he told me that he thinks we need to get a compassionate reassignment to the States. We are hoping to get assigned in either Philly or Atlanta. The hospital is probably better in Philly, but there's a really good hospital in Atlanta too, AND Chris's and some of my family live there. The doctor recommends being around family, but we're going to talk to his command tomorrow and figure everything out. I mean we may not leave here at all. It's all up to the command. They decided where we go if we go. So who knows where we'll end up. But I'm hoping for one of those two places. Preferrably Georgia, just because it's more comfortable and people are generally nicer in the south. But I'll let you know how the meeting goes tomorrow!

busy busy

So it's a new week and I'm feeling MUCH better. I think I offended some people though, because I was talking to like 5 people about everything, and the second I posted my last post everyone stopped talking! I hope I didn't offend anyone! I was just stressin'. Anyway this week is going to be a busy one. I have to get this house spotless, and HOPE Chris keeps it that way, or atleast cleans again before he comes out! I need to pack everything I'm going to need for the next 3 to 4 months. But since I'm going to be pregnant for the majority of the time, I'll probaby just pack a bunch of sweats. I'm having a hard time knowing I have to leave chris, but I guess we're in the army now so I have to get used to us being apart a lot. But it really sucks. I REALLY wish I could get our Vontage working so I can call Chris, but for some reason it just won't work! I need to get all my medical records and I STILL need to find a doctor! Just so many little things!

Also my friend LeAnn's daughter had a seizure so shes been in the hospital since thursday or friday. She won't get released till ATLEAST wednesday. I really hope that Brianna is okay! We've been going over there to keep them company and to bring them food, but I really don't know what else i can do! I wish there was! I'm REALLY going to miss them when I leave!

So I must give BIG props to Chris for coming through last night. I put him in charge of dinner so I could just stay with LeAnn all day. I told him what to make, but he made it GREAT! He brought the food up to the hospital and we all devoured it! We had Chicken marinated in Itallian dressing, both ranch and itallian pasta salad, and garlic bread. It was WONDERFUL! He did a great job! Then when i finally got home he had cleaned the downstairs (for the most part) and he put together Austin's new Highchair (thanks again Karen and Steve)! It looks GREAT! I just love it!

Also I'm 29 weeks!

yall need to chill out!

You know I'm under so very much stress right now I REALLY don't need people to put extra stress on me right now. I'm already worrying about Austin, where I'm going, if I'm going to have to pay a lot of money... I REALLY don't need the extra stress of making everyone else happy also. I already stay up half the night worrying at it is! This is not about seeing everyone and letting everyone be apart of things. If you want to be apart of this then my mom will open up her house to anyone who is willing to come out to NY. Honestly, I'd be perfectly fine having my Austin out here in Belgium. I met the doctors and they seemed like really good doctors. I'm sure they could do the surgery just a good as the doctors in the States. Well wherever I choose to have the baby and the surgeries will have to be the same place I spend the rest of my pregnancy. From October to January. Mainly because I can't switch my tricare that many times... once I'm stateside I can only change it once. So my OBGYN, hospital, and Austins surgeon will have to be in the same area. I want to find a place that Austin can get a great surgeon, a place where I can feel comfortable for a long period of time, and a place where Lily can be watched for days or weeks at a time. So I think that first and foremost if I find a GOOD surgeon in NY then that's where I'm going. I don't want to be mean or make anyone unhappy, but in the end I must do what's best for my little family.

okay

I'm going to the States to have the baby! I'm leaving Belgium September 23rd!

It's times like these where I wish my parents still lived in GA!

Austin's due November 30th.

And Chris is TRYING to get leave to be there!

i could scream

You know, one thing that I really dislike about Chris is his obsession about saving minutes. I understand that my cell phone is my only way to communicate and should be used for emergencies, but sometimes I just need to talk! I need to vent and to have my husband be there to just listen. I mean I can't just call up my mom at anytime. So the only other person who I like to vent to is Chris and he gets so upset if I call him at work for no GOOD reason. Well my GOOD reason is that I have a freaking lot on my mind and nowhere to put it. I need him to reassure me and to support me! I'm just so aggravated with everything today! Lily is annoying me, the fact that my mom isn't home makes me mad, and just everything! Today is just not a good day at all. Any sound at all, the tv, Lily's voice, the dog next door, ANY noise twists up my insides! I just need some peace and quiet!

My summery of those videos

Being straight about it-
Austin does not have Tetrology Of Fallot (TOF), he has a heart defect LIKE TOF, but it is more rare and more severe. So pretty much they will need to do the surgery as soon a possible. The chances of the surgery working is a 70% to 95% chance. The doctor also said that the first surgery will be the hardest, depending on how small the Pulmonary valve is (I think that's what it's called I just looked at a picture of a heart and guessed the name. Th hearts in google look more complex than the one he drew for us. Anyway since he doesn't have the part of the Pulmonary valve (I think) that connects to the other valve the are going to have to switch it throughout his life, because it won't grow with him. They said that they'll have to be from doners. He'll have to get one as a baby (a few weeks after the first surgery), one as a child, a teenager, and an adult. I mean They'll monitor him to see when they need to switch it. The doctor said that once he's an adult he will only need one surgery and then he'll be done. But he isn't going to have as normal of a life as we had hoped for him. But he will probably life a good long life so that's all we hope for. I REALLY hope the first surgery isn't as hard as he thinks. He think that the part of the pulmonary valve that he does have is really thin. He said he couldn't really see it in the ultrasound. So that has me worried.

better than words

The doctor apointment went really well and I like the doctor just fine, but even he said that it would be best in my situation (with Lily) for us to go back to the States. I mean he said that they are just as good and can do the surgeries fine, but home is always the best place to be during his. Dr. Watkins agreed with him. So I will probably go to the States to give birth and to have the first two surgeries. Then go back to Belgium to have all the others (I'll explain in a minute). He said that that would be fine.


The Heart


Austin's heart


the fix

So far...

Okay well I don't have my appointment in Brussels until later tonight, but I did some other research today. First off I went to Tricare on base and they told me that all I need to do is switch to Tricare North. I need to call them this week to see if I will be fully covered, but the lady I talked to said that she thinks I will be. Also I talked to Dr. Watkins, my gynocologist (sp?) and she told me the flying will be just fine and that she write me a permission slip and get all my papers together to give to my new doctor. She said that she'll have them ready at our next appointment on Sept. 19, but if I want to leave earlier to just call her and she'll have them for me. So to go to the states is possible, but I'm going to go to this appointment anyway! OH! And Dr. Watkins said that the results from my amniocentesis came back and they are good. So Austin doesn't have anything else, just Tetrolgy of Fallot. I'll update later today!

doctor?

First off here are a couple pictures from today...

It looked clearer in the came :(

We went to the hospital in Brussels and I guess there was an emergency, because the doctor couldn't make the appointment so we have to go back tomorrow. But just from that visit I think I'm leaning more towards going home. Chris and I talked about it and neither of us got a good feeling about the place. It looked really trashy. You wouldn't have known it was a hospital unless you saw the sign. The whole facility was dirty and smelled bad. It was REALLY hot in there! There seemed to be no order. There were pregnant people and people with babies scattered everywhere. It just was so gross in there! I felt like we were going to catch something! I just don't think I'll feel comfortable putting my child in the care of people who can't seem to keep a facility clean and presentable. I don't want to seem picky, but that's my child we're putting in there! My child with a heart problem! Chris agrees with me 100%. In fact he was the first to say that this place is no good. I guess we'll go back tomorrow and meet the doctor, but I'm pretty sure that we'll be better off if I'm in the states. The question now is will my doctor write a permission slip to let me on that plane or am I too far along?

home or home?

Last night I stayed up contemplating on whether I should stay here or go home to my parent's house for the rest of the pregnancy. I wish so badly that I could do both, but I really do have to make a choice.

The main reasons I'd like to stay here in Belgium are well I already have a doctor here and I know I'm fully covered, Chris is here and I really want him around for this. Plus if i go out to the states I don't know how long I'll have to stay out there for the surgeries.

The big reasons I want to go back to New York are that I really want to be with my mom during this. She's been through rougher pregnancies than I could even imagine. Plus I have 4 sisters that I miss terribly and I really want to see them. Also during recovery and during Austin's surgeries I'm going to need people to watch Lily. I can't put that kind of burden on my friends here!

Mainly if I stay here I get to have Chris in the picture, but if I go home I get to have my mom.
This is the hardest decision!
No matter what Austin will be taken care of.
I've heard the hospital out here is a good one and Stateside is always a good option too.
So it pretty much comes down to me.

28 weeks

Austin is in his last months of being "hidden" from the world.
Today I start my last trimester!
I'm sure Austin agrees with me when I say that both of us are excited for him to get out.
I feel like I'm as big as I can possibly get, but according to babycenter I still have A LOT to gain!
I will miss pregnancy, but I'm very excited for him to join our family!
Tomorrow I'm going to Brussels for that ultrasound.
I'M SO NERVOUS!

saturday morning

Saying "Hi" to Austin

Daddy's little girl

CUTE!!!!!

Big Sister

Kisses for Aussie Poo

Chris made us waffles last night!
(thanks Nat and Sco)

I braided her hair for the first time ever...

Playing with Brianna

They are so cute together!

I LOVE this... they're so goofy!