Monday, May 07, 2012


Lily is only 5 and she is one of the most amazing girls I have ever met. She is strong, positive, and has the purest of hearts. But lately I've been very worried about her. I feel like she's had to endure so many things in her short life and it's starting to wear on her. She lost her very best friend, she lost her dad twice, people come in and out of her life constantly, she's moved around so much already. I just hate that she's had to live so much in such a short time. Maybe she'll find strength in it, but lately I've been seeing something that I don't want to see. She's been acting out, losing her temper, not listening, sleep walking/talking. And when I do get " control" it's like you see loss in her eyes. I'm sure she just feels like she has no control and that things keep happening to her. I really hope all of this doesn't make her unstable as an adult. I wish I were a better parent for her. I just know I'm doing it all wrong and her craziness will be because I made the wrong parenting choices. How to I turn all of this into strength? How can I make her feel like she can do anything? I just feel like she is so lost and I don't know what to do. Children should not have to feel this way. Lily should just play and dance and enjoy her life, not worry about the next days events and who's coming and going in her life. My poor, sweet baby girl has so much pain in her life, I just want to take it away.

Ugh i just can't sleep. I wish I could make her life easier on her. She's been through so much. No child should have so much happen to her at the young age of 5. I just worry about her.

1 comment:

shaina said...

I think it's a valid worry, but kids are super resilient. The emotional side is tough, and it probably doesn't heal as fast as you would like, but I think she's handling things very well...a sign that you are doing the right thing with your mothering. Feel proud of that.