Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Feels like home.

I love going to the temple. I love the spirit there. I crave that feeling and wish I could go more often. But that has not always been the case. When I was younger and in a more rebellious time of my life I went to the temple, unworthily, so my parents wouldn't know that I was making bad choices. I hated the feeling in the temple back then, I felt so uncomfortable and out of place. I did not want to be there at all.

Our church has a program for the youth called EFY (Especially For Youth) where you spend a week going to classes, making friends, doing service projects, and being surrounded by great LDS people. I looked forward to it every year, it was the highlight of my summers! But the very last year I went, again I wasn't living my life right. I hated EFY. I didn't want to be there. I left after one day being there!

After having those experiences it made me think of Heaven. Maybe we won't be begging God to let us stay, maybe if we aren't worthy and living our lives right we'll feel uncomfortable and will WANT to leave. We won't want to be in the presence of our Heavenly Father. Maybe Jesus will be BEGGING us to use his atonement to not just repent, but to change our hearts and want to stay.

Who knows, all I know is that I will be so excited to meet Heavenly Father and to be in his presence, because I'll live a life where the spiritual feeling I get in the temple or when I wholeheartedly pray will be welcomed!

This whole post is inspired by an amazing talk by Brad Wilcox. " his Grace is Sufficient". :)

Wednesday, April 17, 2013


I really struggle with things.  I like them.  I want them.  And I want the best!  Clothes, house decor, crafts, house, cars, food, livelihood, just everything!  I want it all!  I seriously have 15+ cardigans in my closet, who needs that many cardigans??  I don't know, every time I read the Book of Mormon or listen to talks and they talk about how happiness is found in things unseen and that riches don't bring joy it always gets me thinking.  I heard a talk tonight about how these people in Africa who are newly baptized have absolutely nothing, but they have so so much more than probably most of us.  If that makes sense?  And then I see all the LDS (Mormon) actors/actresses make it big and then leave the church and go crazy.  I really think that things, although they do bring short-term joy, won't make you happy.

Here's an example, when I was younger I sought out pretty things.  Pretty friends, cute boyfriends, nice clothes, I always had my hair done... you get the point.  And I was happy.  But was I??  I always, always, always felt insecure, I felt like my friends were talking about me behind my back, my clothes were never as cute as my friends, and they always had cuter guys.  Nothing was enough.

Now when I look for friends, I look for genuinely good people.  People who look on the bright side of things, people who strive to be better, people who are confident in who they are.  Some people are pretty looking and some are beautiful.  I'd rather hangout with someone who is truly beautiful on the inside (outside in optional).

Now that I'm here in my life, I NEED to spend less time on the things of this world, and spend more time on me and where my heart is.  A new outfit is fun and I'm all about occasional shopping trips, but that won't make me happy.  The Gospel will make me happy.  Living a life of goodness.  Keeping judgmental thoughts out of my mind of seeing the good in people.  Those things will make me truly happy.  I need to stop comparing myself to my super creative, amazing sisters/friends and just be me.  Because you know what?  I like me.  I haven't really, truly been able to say that for years, but I do.  I need some work, but I am happier than I have ever been.  I have a family that I love so much, especially my sweet husband.  Just look at what the Gospel has done for us.  We are so happy and cherish every moment together and with our kids.

Anyway I guess my next goal is to stop focusing on my undecorated/empty mantle, my old furniture, and my dated clothing and start focusing on what will really bring me joy; family and the gospel.

This is going to be a hard one for me!!

Wednesday, April 03, 2013

Re-evaluating 2013 Goals

When I made my goals for last year I had last year on my mind, but now it's a new year and my priorities have changed and I have different goals that are more important to me.  So I'm going to reevaluate my goals and add/take away some. :)

Here are my original goals

-Read the entire Standard Works!!!! 
(Just the BOM and D&C this year, I'll read the Bible next year)

-Do atleast one act of service a day 
(still trying to do this one)

-Keep up with the laundry and dishes 
(doing pretty good, but I do have off days)

-Eat out less (twice a month once as a fam and one as a date!) (and special occasions)!) 
(fail so far lol, we enjoy eating out)

-Start a workout routine (atleast twice a week!)
(fail- so far but hoping for more energy this spring/summer)

-Run a 5k(or two, or three ;))
(none yet, but this is still a goal)

-Make healthier choices 
(Going strong, not to where I want to be, but I'm getting there... baby steps)

(out of debt, but not great at saving lol)

-Become a better FRIEND
(This one is hard for me.  Since starting photography my already bad anxiety has gotten so so much worse.  I seriously live in stress, and when I'm not dealing with strangers I'm a big time homebody.  I love having friends, but I like hanging out at home with my family so much more, I still get anxiety even with my closest friends so it's hard to choose friends over relaxation, BUT I've decided I need to have friends so my new goal is to hangout face to face once a week with a friend.  I'm really trying to stick to it.  This week I'm having a Cupcake Date with some photographer friends.)

-Read more books and watch less TV!
(Definitely haven't been doing this, I need to find some good books!!)

-Share the gospel more
(I feel like I've done this somewhat, I always try to encourage people to learn more about the gospel on my FB or blog, and I try to live as an example so people can see my light and want it too)

-Keep the Sabbath Day Holy every Sunday!
(I'm actually doing pretty good at this SO FAR!)

-Project 365 (and Project 52 challenge)
(huge fail, but I've changed it to just trying to take pictures of my kids more often, I took hardly any in 2011 and regret it so much!)

-Never let work come first.
(I only book session 2 (sometimes 3) times a week, which is good and I try not to edit except for when Lily is at school and Claire and Gray are napping)

-Change wake-up time from 7am to 6am!
(Still working on this one lol.  I'm at 7:30 right now.  I'm going the opposite way lol!)

-Improve on handwriting and vocabulary
(I got a few print outs, but haven't had much time to work on it... still a goal though!!)