Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Hello, 2014!

New years is a wonderful time to reevaluate your life after figure out what needs change or improve!  I think we should do it all year long, but this is the time when I really sit down and figure out a good starting point!  This year my goals are going to be hard!  I'm going to challenge myself to be so much better than I have ever been!  If I can pull it off I will be better in every aspect of my life!  I'm excited and a little nervous to see if I'm strong enough to rise to the occasion and to really do this!

So here they are, 

-Ready Scriptures, EVERYDAY!
I don't care if I open up to a random page and read a random Scripture, I want to have this daily wholesome habit down!  I'm going to try to focus on the BOM, but that won't be an actual goal this year!

-No chocolate for 3 months (and then reevaluate!!)
This has become an addiction of mine.  I can't go a day without it.  I think about it all the time, and often I give it.  I don't want ANYTHING to have that type of power over me, I want to eat in moderation and to be able to say no!  So this WILL be hard, it's my "coffee", I can't go a day without it without getting a headache!  So pray for me lol!

Chris will be out of the military in just a few months and although we have plans, I want to have as much saved as we can!  I also want to work as much as I can and really get my business running steady so if we have to live off my income for awhile, we can!  I'm also making a goal list for my business but that won't be posted here. :)

I want to get a better, more regular schedule going.  I want everyday to be more planned out, and I want to be in bed with the TV off and a reasonable time(10-11pm!)

Better mom!
I think I'm a good mom, but I want to be so much better!  I want to be more patient for one!  I also want to take the kids on more mommy-daughter dates.  I'd love to set time apart to really talk to each of them (especially Lily and Gray!)  I would love to start an in-home pre-schoolig for my littles to take the time to teach them new things!

This is the year for me!  I'm going to get into shape, eat better, and take control of my health!  I need this lifestyle change, and I will take it one day at a time! 

yup, trying again lol!  Not blogging it though, just posting on FB!

A few ones from last year:
Better my handwriting and Vocabulary.
Serve more and share the gospel!!!
Be a better friend!
Read more.
And Obviously never let work come first, but I feel like I've found a good balance on this!

Chris will deployed almost all year either as a soldier or as a civilian so while he's away, I really want to conquer these goals, there aren't a ton, but they're going to be LOTS of work and dedication!!  

2013 in review.

Looking back on 2013, I've had lots of progress and an equal amount of degrees.  I started out strong and definitely rocked some of my goals, but some goals I completely failed at.  The main goal I didn't accomplish was reading my scriptures.  After awhile I stopped reading all-together, because I'd rather watch tv, or do completely mindless activities.  Seems small, but this is HUGE!  Not only does reading my scriptures keep me in a good place spiritually, but it leaks out into every aspect of my life... my schedule, values, family life, patience, eating habits, etc.  Without my spiritual stability, everything else failed.  I became lazy, got angry faster, judged quicker... all because I stopped reading my scriptures.  That's a huge testament of why God wants us to read the scriptures and pray every day!!  
So this is my MAIN goal this year, even if I only read one verse, atleast of have something GOOD to ponder on!  
Looking back on 2013 goals...
-Read the entire Standard Works!!!! 
Didn't do this!  I'm not going to aim this big this year, I just want to stay steady on reading the scriptures!  

-Do atleast one act of service a day 
Nope.  I REALLY want this to be a goal again.  I want service to come naturally!

-Keep up with the laundry and dishes 
I think I accomplished this one.  

-Eat out less (twice a month once as a fam and one as a date!) (and special occasions)!) 
Actually I did okay on this especially after Chris deployed!  This one is hard since I work!

-Start a workout routine (atleast twice a week!)
HUGE FAIL!  But this is one of my big 2014 goals, I really want to eat right and get in shape!  I'm so ready!

-Make healthier choices 
I did okay, not great.  

This year we didn't do as well as I wanted, we REALLY need to buckle down before Chris gets out of the military!

-Become a better FRIEND
I think I did okay with this!  I'm mostly trying to choose friends who make me want to be a better person, and I've made some great influence friends.  I just wish we were closer!

-Read more books and watch less TV!
I read a few books, I enjoy reading so maybe next year I'll do even more!

-Share the gospel more
meh, not really

-Keep the Sabbath Day Holy every Sunday!
When I went to church lol.  Better than 2012!

-Project 365 (and Project 52 challenge)

-Never let work come first.
I did SO much better on this this year, I only works certain days and edited during nap times or when the kids weren't around to care!  

-Change wake-up time from 7am to 6am!
Way accomplished!  More like 5:30am!!

-Improve on handwriting and vocabulary
nah, but this is still something I want to do!!

So overall I didn't do awful, but I could have done better!

Something highlights:
-Chris deployed with the army for the last time to Kuwait!
-Lily started first grade!  She reads and writes on a super high level!  They want to put her in advance classes next year!
-Grayson is at such a cute/WILD age, but he's such a sweet heart!  He loves to remind me that he loves me and he loves hugs!
-Claire ended the year a 20 months, it was a busy year for her, lots of learning, running, and growling!  
-My photography business did great!  I raised my prices and I still am booking about 2-3 sessions a week!  I also started doing cinematography, which has been a blast!!  

Overall awesome 2013!

Friday, June 21, 2013

Just Give Me a Reason

I know it's been out for awhile, but I have got to say I LOVE that Pink and Fun song: Just Give Me a Reason.  Chris and I have had some pretty dark times in our marriage (early years), I really like how this song encourages holding on to even the littlest piece of hope.  I couldn't imagine my life if I had given in during our difficult times, but instead we're stronger and happier than ever before.  And I hope I'll remember this when we enter our next dark time and the next after that, and we'll come out even stronger!  Anyways this song speaks to me..

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

New Journey

These last couple years I have grown so much as a person.  I've set goals and reached them.  I feel really good about my spiritual and mental heath (besides anxiety).  This blog as kind of been dedicated to those goals these last couple years, but now I'm ready to add a new subject.  I feel like I'm a great wife and mother, I'm happier than I've ever been, and completely drug-free, I'm motivated and on a great schedule (I still need to work on this when Chris is out of town), I've turned into a back to the basics, natural, crunchy-ish mom.  My house is clean 99% of the time (Probably more like 80%.)  I've basically made a 180 from where I was a couple years ago.  But now it's time to push more and keep growing.  I have been procrastinating on my physical health, because I dislike exercise, and I love eating junk.  But it's time.  I need my physical health to be up to par with my mental and spiritual health.  I've started changing how I eat.  I'm not on a diet, but I'm trying to stay away from processed food (or anything that hasn't been around for atleast a century), most dairy, super fatty meats, the only bread I eat is organic wheat bread, and I eat lots of organic fruits/veggies and nuts/seeds.  Like I said, I'm not on a diet, and I definitely don't plan on counting calories.  I just want to be healthy, not skinny.  I'm also hoping that this way of eating will help with my anxiety and energy.  I'm really giving juicing a shot, not a huge fan so far, but I'll find some yummy recipes as I play around. :)  I'm excited to take this new journey to becoming a better person inside and out. :)  Shout out to my Momma and Amy Flynn (one of my very bestfriends) for motivating me!!

This week I'll blog my health goals. :)

Monday, June 03, 2013

Austin Dream

Last night I had a dream and Aus was in it.  I can't remember the specific, but he was definitely in them. This is significant, because he hasn't been in my dreams since he passed away, it like I couldn't handle them or my mind blocked them or something.  But I'm so glad I had this dream, I've been praying for an Austin dream for awhile, and I'm glad I got one even if I don't remember it.  Atleast now I CAN have Aus dreams!  That makes me so happy!

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Feels like home.

I love going to the temple. I love the spirit there. I crave that feeling and wish I could go more often. But that has not always been the case. When I was younger and in a more rebellious time of my life I went to the temple, unworthily, so my parents wouldn't know that I was making bad choices. I hated the feeling in the temple back then, I felt so uncomfortable and out of place. I did not want to be there at all.

Our church has a program for the youth called EFY (Especially For Youth) where you spend a week going to classes, making friends, doing service projects, and being surrounded by great LDS people. I looked forward to it every year, it was the highlight of my summers! But the very last year I went, again I wasn't living my life right. I hated EFY. I didn't want to be there. I left after one day being there!

After having those experiences it made me think of Heaven. Maybe we won't be begging God to let us stay, maybe if we aren't worthy and living our lives right we'll feel uncomfortable and will WANT to leave. We won't want to be in the presence of our Heavenly Father. Maybe Jesus will be BEGGING us to use his atonement to not just repent, but to change our hearts and want to stay.

Who knows, all I know is that I will be so excited to meet Heavenly Father and to be in his presence, because I'll live a life where the spiritual feeling I get in the temple or when I wholeheartedly pray will be welcomed!

This whole post is inspired by an amazing talk by Brad Wilcox. " his Grace is Sufficient". :)

Wednesday, April 17, 2013


I really struggle with things.  I like them.  I want them.  And I want the best!  Clothes, house decor, crafts, house, cars, food, livelihood, just everything!  I want it all!  I seriously have 15+ cardigans in my closet, who needs that many cardigans??  I don't know, every time I read the Book of Mormon or listen to talks and they talk about how happiness is found in things unseen and that riches don't bring joy it always gets me thinking.  I heard a talk tonight about how these people in Africa who are newly baptized have absolutely nothing, but they have so so much more than probably most of us.  If that makes sense?  And then I see all the LDS (Mormon) actors/actresses make it big and then leave the church and go crazy.  I really think that things, although they do bring short-term joy, won't make you happy.

Here's an example, when I was younger I sought out pretty things.  Pretty friends, cute boyfriends, nice clothes, I always had my hair done... you get the point.  And I was happy.  But was I??  I always, always, always felt insecure, I felt like my friends were talking about me behind my back, my clothes were never as cute as my friends, and they always had cuter guys.  Nothing was enough.

Now when I look for friends, I look for genuinely good people.  People who look on the bright side of things, people who strive to be better, people who are confident in who they are.  Some people are pretty looking and some are beautiful.  I'd rather hangout with someone who is truly beautiful on the inside (outside in optional).

Now that I'm here in my life, I NEED to spend less time on the things of this world, and spend more time on me and where my heart is.  A new outfit is fun and I'm all about occasional shopping trips, but that won't make me happy.  The Gospel will make me happy.  Living a life of goodness.  Keeping judgmental thoughts out of my mind of seeing the good in people.  Those things will make me truly happy.  I need to stop comparing myself to my super creative, amazing sisters/friends and just be me.  Because you know what?  I like me.  I haven't really, truly been able to say that for years, but I do.  I need some work, but I am happier than I have ever been.  I have a family that I love so much, especially my sweet husband.  Just look at what the Gospel has done for us.  We are so happy and cherish every moment together and with our kids.

Anyway I guess my next goal is to stop focusing on my undecorated/empty mantle, my old furniture, and my dated clothing and start focusing on what will really bring me joy; family and the gospel.

This is going to be a hard one for me!!

Wednesday, April 03, 2013

Re-evaluating 2013 Goals

When I made my goals for last year I had last year on my mind, but now it's a new year and my priorities have changed and I have different goals that are more important to me.  So I'm going to reevaluate my goals and add/take away some. :)

Here are my original goals

-Read the entire Standard Works!!!! 
(Just the BOM and D&C this year, I'll read the Bible next year)

-Do atleast one act of service a day 
(still trying to do this one)

-Keep up with the laundry and dishes 
(doing pretty good, but I do have off days)

-Eat out less (twice a month once as a fam and one as a date!) (and special occasions)!) 
(fail so far lol, we enjoy eating out)

-Start a workout routine (atleast twice a week!)
(fail- so far but hoping for more energy this spring/summer)

-Run a 5k(or two, or three ;))
(none yet, but this is still a goal)

-Make healthier choices 
(Going strong, not to where I want to be, but I'm getting there... baby steps)

(out of debt, but not great at saving lol)

-Become a better FRIEND
(This one is hard for me.  Since starting photography my already bad anxiety has gotten so so much worse.  I seriously live in stress, and when I'm not dealing with strangers I'm a big time homebody.  I love having friends, but I like hanging out at home with my family so much more, I still get anxiety even with my closest friends so it's hard to choose friends over relaxation, BUT I've decided I need to have friends so my new goal is to hangout face to face once a week with a friend.  I'm really trying to stick to it.  This week I'm having a Cupcake Date with some photographer friends.)

-Read more books and watch less TV!
(Definitely haven't been doing this, I need to find some good books!!)

-Share the gospel more
(I feel like I've done this somewhat, I always try to encourage people to learn more about the gospel on my FB or blog, and I try to live as an example so people can see my light and want it too)

-Keep the Sabbath Day Holy every Sunday!
(I'm actually doing pretty good at this SO FAR!)

-Project 365 (and Project 52 challenge)
(huge fail, but I've changed it to just trying to take pictures of my kids more often, I took hardly any in 2011 and regret it so much!)

-Never let work come first.
(I only book session 2 (sometimes 3) times a week, which is good and I try not to edit except for when Lily is at school and Claire and Gray are napping)

-Change wake-up time from 7am to 6am!
(Still working on this one lol.  I'm at 7:30 right now.  I'm going the opposite way lol!)

-Improve on handwriting and vocabulary
(I got a few print outs, but haven't had much time to work on it... still a goal though!!)

Sunday, February 03, 2013

Feeling the love.

Sometime I'm just overwhelmed with the life I've been given. my cup really does runneth over. I'm so grateful and happy. I have the most wonderful husband who supports me, makes me laugh, and is my very best friend. I have the most precious children a mom could ask for, and I just want to hold them close to me and kiss them and never stop! I have parents and sisters who I love so much! We are all best best friends, I have in-laws who have truly become family to me and I love them. I have the Gospel which is one of the most precious gifts I could have. I feel God's love for me everyday and I know he knows and loves me. I have friends who still remain friends no matter how far away we live from each other, I have a home, I live comfortably, I have GOOD food in my kitchen, my family is healthy, I have the most amazing ward, I get to see my little man Austin again, I miss him soooo much and it's such a comfort to know that we will be together again and I'll get to give him hugs and kisses again and feel his warmth, I get to live in Colorado which is the most beautiful, relaxing state I've ever lived in (seriously its like living it a painting!), and just EVERYTHING! I'm surrounded by blessings and I'm so happy. Tonight I'm feeling especially blessed to be going to church tomorrow with Chris by my side and him WANTING to be there and I'm excited to sit in Sacrament with my family.

Monday, January 28, 2013

a little vent.

When it rains it pours for sure.
The whole unexpected session this morning happened which is extra bad because I suffer from anxiety and it won't go away. Then Chris told me he won't be home until tomorrow. I'm sleepy but I have deadlines, Blackbird came on pandora and it got me thinking about how Gray is 2 1/2 now and the same age as Aus... and I REALLY don't want to go there right now. I just feel blah, the kitchen and family room are a disaster, etc, etc, etc. Okay now my long vent is over. Time to get my attitude of gratitude back on...

Tuesday, January 15, 2013


Chris has me SO excited!  In the last week he has read the whole Gospel principles book, Joseph Smith History, The Articles of Faith, and right now he's reading some Priesthood manual.  Pretty awesome, huh?  He said he wants to start coming to church with me more and I guess he's been praying as well.  Do you know what this could mean???  This is the BEST news ever!  Even if he doesn't join, he is laying down a foundation right now and opening himself up to his own spiritual experiences!  I'm so excited!  I hope God will fill his heart with the spirit!  I'm so excited that the possibility of us getting married in the temple is now becoming more hopeful!!  I better start saving!!!  EEEK! 
I LOVE the gospel!

Monday, January 14, 2013


My friend, Maggie said the sweetest thing to me today and I just HAD to share!  She said that sometimes she looks at older pictures of me and she can just see how much brighter I am now, and that she can just tell how much I've changed just by looking at me.  She said my eyes just have more light now.  Made my day!!

Wednesday, January 09, 2013

The Field

It's crazy how much this really does feel like a deployment! It's only been a couple days and when we get the chance to talk on the phone, it just feel like its real! Also I didn't realize how dependent and attached Claire is to me until now. I think I've just babied her so much and now if I'm not holding her AND giving her all my attention she gets MAD. It's not good. :(

Saturday, January 05, 2013

Joseph Smith History

I think Joseph Smith History is so interesting. I had to read it for my lesson tomorrow and I think all people should read it, member or not (its short). I just love it and the same things that were going on back then are going on today.

Anyway I'm glad I read it. I had heard the vision story before, never took the time to read it.