Wednesday, November 28, 2007

depression

I can’t believe that on my wedding I lost the tape of Lily’s birth. I just can’t myself get over it. That was the most important tape I ever owned… far more important that any video of my childhood. I can’t stand myself for losing such an important part of Lily, Chris, and my life. I mean Lily is so olds now and can do so much, and the only thing I have are pictures that don’t do it justice. I would give up every memory of my childhood for all of hers. I just can’t stand myself right now. Regardless of all the crap that happened during that time, there was just too much to love. I could just scream right now! Now I think I lost the one of Chris saying goodbye to us when he was going off to basic. If I haven’t lost it I think it might be destroyed. Am I not supposed to remember her time as an infant? She’s turning one in about a month and I don’t have a single video of her. I am so depressed I can’t stand it and Chris in FTX so I can’t see, speak, or write to him for 10 days. I need him so much right now. I want to somehow come across those videos and have them all back. All those memories. The videos with me Pregnant. I Love Lily so much .

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh Amy, I am so sorry this happened to you. I hope you can find them. Who knows, they might show up. I think we probably have some video of Lily as an infant. In fact, I know we have at least a little. So, just gp and take some more video of her today!!!!

Natalie

Emily Christiansen said...

Videos aren't memories. They are nice to have, but you'll always remember those important events. Just start taking video now and keep it safe.