Sunday, October 30, 2011

Grandma

I'm 23. Austin was only in my life for 2 1/2 years. That's nothing... at all. That's a minute in life. But those years meant the world to me. I just think of my grandma. She lost her son Valiant so many years ago. Probably in her 30's. She's now 80. She's had to go all those years without him. And not only that, but I have no idea who he is, nor do I have interest in him. I have never considered him a part of the family or one of my mom's brothers. He's just the brother who died.

That's going to be my sweet Austin.

Life will go on without him, and soon he'll just be my dead son. I already hate that people look at me like he was such a bad thing that happened to me. He was the most amazing little boy. His heart was huge and I knew that from day one. I wish more people knew him. He's not a burden, he was a blessing. It's just hard losing such a blessing. Family is everything. One day it won't hurt so bad, and maybe then people won't look at him as some kind of illness.

This whole post makes no sense.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Austin is always with you. He is your "Guardian Angel". Stay close to him and Heavenly Father. They both love you.