my new hair... mom did it for me!

just a little love.

in the middle of a RALLY big smile
what a cutie!

just for ems.

Nat took this one
She was sucking on her toes

pinchless cuties!

I decided to kind of do what Natalie is doing so I won’t forget anything about Lilly’s childhood. Well she is the cutest little girl in the world. She is very active just like she was in me. She always is moving… kicking is her favorite thing to do these days. She can now see my face and I know that she knows who I am now. She likes to keep her eyes as wide as she can get them while exploring this new world. I can already tell that she is going to be a smart kid. Yesterday I laid Kenzie and Lilly side be side and you could tell their personalities right off. Kenzie would lay there kind of laid back and just trying to keep out of Lilly’s way- while Lilly was grabbing Kenzie and eating her nose. I’m going to have to teach that girl manners! Just kidding. They are so cute together. Today after feeding and burping Lilly, I started singing songs to her such as “I’m a Little teapot”, “The Wheels on the Bus”, etc. Then I stated just humming a tune and moving her legs to it, and she smiled to me for the first time!! She has two dimples by the way! She’s been getting better, but she has had some terrible stomach problems. She had been crying all day, and would not sleep at all. I don’t maybe like 6 hours in a 24 hour period. Not good. She’s now just being very pleasant. I love her so much.

the blessing

thanks nat!

pretty n pink

just some pics from the hospital

I could actually wear this shirt 7 months ago!


10 MORE WEEKS TO GO!!

today I am 30 weeks and 130 pounds!

Guess what Jessica... I made my decision. Sorry it took so long, but I didn't want to actually come out and tell you until I was ABSOLUTELY sure. Now I am. I'm your Surrogate mother. Now you may get excited my dear. The being wavery is over.


I love you jess!

Btw I was thinking if you are still thinking about that same first name... I think your middle name would sound better than mine... just think about it!
ams

last week



my belly button is trying to come out...



today... i don't look too good b/c my makeup at Chris's house so i had to use my moms... and my hair just didn't want to work with me today... oh well i know yall have been dying for an entry...

I want a 4-D untrasound... but for now this will do.

^^^^ that little thing all by itself in the dark is the heart... ^^^^

i just thought i deserved 9 months.

alright i'm done... i was going to put up my ultrasounds n all that, but nobody ever listens... so i'm done with blogger.

I'm having a girl!! I am going to put up the ultrasounds tonight... but i'm not happy with them. You can't really see the baby in it. Nat says it's because the bigger the baby gets, the harder she is to see. She is10 inches long! That's crazy!! Almost a whole foot... I'm only 5'4! She is only one pound... but the cutest thing in the whole world. During the ultrasound she was all squirming around. The doctor was trying to get her to turn around so we could see the front, but she was fighting her n moving her cute little face from side to side. She was just so innocent and precious! Dad said he saw her wave and say, “I papa”! haha he’s a dork! But she was defiantly the cutest thing ever. She looks like she’ll have a Bush nose! Well from what I saw! Anyway She’s cute… the end.

Btw... Em, Nat, n Jess- If yall don't start updating yalls... then i'll just stop updating mine in pubic view. I only got blogger b/c yall use it! So yall better get back on the wagon! oh.

Well I didn't get to go to my ultrasound apt. today b/c mom was WAY too sick to even move and dad had a work thing. So another day not knowing the gender. My next apt. is on the 20th. They only do ultrasounds on wed. and thurs. So anyway... I think this kid is trying to beat me up constantly. I've never been kicked more in my life. He/ She REALLY wants to get out I tell ya! Chris is the only person to feel the baby move so far. He thought it was so cool. I tried to let dad feel, but he was a little too late. The baby just doesn't like some people I guess. At school b/c I’m just sitting there, the kid just like jumps around my insides. I'm certainly showing now. But people just think I’m fat... I hate that. I want to tell people, and at this point it doesn't matter if I do... but I'd rather just wait until well it's obvious. I am dreading the question of what I’m going to do... I don't think putting the baby up for adoption sounds very loving... I know if I heard that before I'd think badly of the decision. I don't know, I’ll probably just avoid the answer all together. I'll just be rude and tell them that it's personal. I mean it's not like I'm aborting the child! I know the family I’m giving it to... and I know they will be great parents for this child. I'm not doing anything wrong... in fact; I think I’m doing something that is better for the child.

pic

Doesn't look as big as i do usually... but i like it anyway. This pic was such an accident too!

I guess it’s time to update. Okay well my stomach is getting bigger and bigger! In the mornings my stomach looks so freakin deformed. Well I am putting the child up for adoption this Jan. I know it’s going to be hard, but I’m planning for it everyday. I wish I could just stay pregnant forever more. Well without the bad parts. I started college this last Monday, and it is so weird being there around all those people pregnant. I know I just look fat right now, but soon enough it will be obvious and I’m awfully worried about the reaction. I guess I’ve gotten through the worst part… telling the family. Haha just kidding. This baby is slowly, but surely coming and I just keep on going on with life as usual. Chris pretends I’m not even pregnant now, because he said he doesn’t want to get attached. He told me that he wants to do all the cute things like put his head on my stomach to talk to the baby, rub cocoa butter on my tummy, and all the other exciting things fathers do… but he’s not going to be a father so why get excited about it. I understand where he’s coming from. I think it’s going to be as hard on him as it will be for me. Maybe even more, believe it or not. Shelbey is moving Mon… but she said she will try to visit in Jan. Jenna will be graduated by then. So atleast I’ll have my best friends by my side.

12 weeks 5 days

The baby is SOO big!

Okay so now that Chris and I have officially agreed on giving up our child, we now need to find the perfect family for the perfect child. I want my child to have parents that are just like mine. They are still together, are successful, are fabulous parents, good Mormons (but not Mollys to an extreme). I don’t know I just wish my parents were about 20 years younger and be my child’s parents. Oh my goodness gracious this is going to be the hardest decision in the whole world to make! I can’t see myself giving my baby up to… just people. I know some people can’t have children and will adore this child so much. I want to give someone that blessing, but who is the question. This baby is mine… my blood, my features, my everything… and so I’m going to give him or her up to who…?

11weeks

you know you don't have to be a member to comment... good ol' family!

Well today was well completely awful… yet fabulous. I went with Chris this last weekend to Tennessee to visit his mom and to clear a ticket from his record. Well today was the day we got to drive home. Well we were kind of in a hurry to get home due to my first OBGYN doctors appointment I had at 2:00. Well so I really couldn’t eat anything because I get sick eating in the car. So at 2 I got to the appointment feeling all gross from dry heaving hours before. Well they gave me a pap, checked for the baby’s heart rate, and took blood. GALLONS of blood! Well because I was sick that just made me sicker. During the blood taking I swear my whole arm turned black! Okay maybe exaggerating just a little. Well I turned pure white and started seeing spots and feeling dizzy. I tried to walk it off, pretending to be fine, but I only made it to the door then it got so bad that I had to lie down or else I would have passed out. The doctor had me drink a glass of water… the same water I threw up as soon as I left the office. My arm still feels weak and restless. It is honestly KILLING me! Well after I left the doctor, Chris took me to get a bag of popcorn, a big bottle of water, and to watch The Devil Wears Prada. Then we went and ate Hibachi at my Japanese restaurant. He really is a nice guy. OH! I’m having my very first Ultrasound this Fri.! So I’ll post the picture!