Monday, April 30, 2012
I don't know if it's because Austin was near so my emotions were extra sensitive or what, but the last couple days were so much harder than usual. I know he was on my mind a lot, but he always is and it usually isn't THAT difficult. But I made it through his one year. I still cannot believe it's been a whole year. This year has brought so much change and growth in my life and I have that sweet little boy to thank. I just can't believe I was able to spend his one year in the temple. A year ago I would have NEVER thought I'd be worthy within a year! It was so peaceful there. It's so neat sitting in a place that is so clean and the spirit just is always present! I'm so grateful to my baby and can't wait to see his sweet face again one day. I have come to peace with him being gone and that he has work he's doing on the other side. I really believe he's still a huge part of our day to day life even if I can't see him. Some days are obviously harder than others, and I'll never fully be okay with it all, but I know that the strength of our family and the love and appreciation we have have for each other is so much stronger now that we've dealt with loss in such a horrible, heartbreaking way. We know how important family is and will never take it for granted. I just miss my boy and can't wait for our family to be together forever.