I wish.

I’m going to the city tomorrow with my sisters. No kids invited. I’m so excited, but I’m dreading it too, because tomorrow coming means that Nat is leaving the next day and then Em. I hate this. I wish we had all connected more this trip then we did. I wish we could start over. I wish Chris could have stayed. I wish my mom would come and live with me in Belgium so I wouldn’t feel so helpless. I wish I were more talented so I could be a bigger part of our upcoming family business. I love my family so much more than anyone could know. They are what I think about constantly. I need them in my life. Belgium is not going to help at all. Maybe make me a more independent woman, but I don’t want that. I want to be with my family. I want Chris, Lily and me to live in NY with all my girls and parents an hour drive away. But instead I’m going to be a seven hour time difference away. And it sucks.

I am excited for tomorrow though.

I want to go get my hair done again.