last trimester

I can't believe I'm almost in my last trimester of pregnancy! It seems like the first two trimesters were so short! But I already know that the last trimester is going to feel like two trimesters put together. I'm not excited for Austin to leave me yet. He's just so safe and warm in my little belly. I love having kids, but there's something about being pregnant with them that is really special. I mean I'm his home! I'm his guard from the world! Nobody can see or touch him without coming through me. They can't even feel his movements unless I decide they can. Austin and I are more connected right now than we will ever be again. Soon he'll be running around wanting to be free, then wanting to go to school and friend's houses, then he'll be wanting more freedom, and before I know it he'll move out and have his own family! All life is is a long process of letting go of your mom. But it goes WAY too fast for the mom! I'm so sad that he's already trying to kick his way out of me! He wants to stretch out and be free! He wants to leave me already! My little baby! Lily's already wanting everything her way and she wants to be completely free... she's not even two yet! That's it... Austin is not allowed to leave my belly or grow up... ever! He's safe and healthy in me... his heart beats regularly and is very well taken care of in my womb. The world is far too scary of a place to let him come into. I hate letting go! My babies are way too amazing to have to grow up in this awful world! I just hope that in the end I get some grandchildren out of this... but not for ATLEAST 26 years! Anyway Aussie and my belly time is coming to an end. I just hope he gets to live a healthy, happy life. I hope his heart doesn't stop him from becoming all he can be in this world, and I hope he's happy... really happy. I KNOW Lily's happy. She tells me everyday. You can't looks at her without her smiling, laughing, or wanting to play a game! She's seriously a goose! Austin is so lucky to have such a fun big sister! I can tell she sees the good in things and I hope she can see the good in being a big sister. We'll see! I just will miss being pregnant... I'm belly mourning! I'm going to have to let go sooner or later...