so little time

Okay sorry I didn’t update sooner, but things have been crazy here.  Well his cath went great.  He didn’t even have to stay over night.  The doctor told us that he may look like a normal boy and act like a normal boy, but his insides are all jumbled up.  He said that the surgery is from 1 to 10, closer to 10 on the complicated and severe side.  So we can decide to do the surgeries, but he will be in out and out of hospitals getting surgeries for the rest of his life and because it’s so complicated in the end they may hit a dead end and be right where they started. OR we could just leave it and although he will turn blue when he’s older he’ll probably live to be 40 or maybe even 50.  Regardless of what we do his life span isn’t going to be as long as ours.  He’ll probably get to 60 tops. 

I just wish I could just go in the future and ask him what HE WANTS!  I don’t want to make this decision for him.  He can either spend his life in and out of hospitals regularly getting surgeries in hopes of living a little longer and postponing the blue, or he can live a semi normal life, but turn blue and die young… and only have to do cath’s every like 6 months.

I asked if we could wait a few years, but he said the window of the most successful operation is pretty much the next year or two.  So Chris and I HAVE to make this choice for him.  It’s just so hard.  I wasn’t prepared for this.  The doctor said that no matter what Austin is going to have to deal with this heart problem the rest of his life.  And his life won’t be normal.

I just need an answer.

Also Chris IS leaving tonight.  I’m going to miss him so so so so so so much.  How will I sleep without my teddy bear??  This will be hard on me… no doubt.  But I’ve been preparing myself for awhile now.  I can’t say I’m not going to break down when he’s actually gone, but at this very moment I feel ready. 

I’m just going to focus on the positive things about him leaving.

More pay

I can watch TV at night

The house doesn’t HAVE to be clean all the time

Um…

We can talk on the phone daily

We both have webcams

Aaand…

Well that’s all I can think of momentarily.

Anyway I want him to get home from work right now so we can spend our last night together!

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Also since we can waive the termination fees with Chris’s orders, we are getting rid of our terrible phones!  So if you try to call us… sorry.  If you need anything send us at email (amyoneal922@yahoo.com) or leave a comment on here. 

I’ll get a new phone soon and I’ll let yall know when I do!